When I heard that Indian Matchmaking was a new show that was being released on Netflix, I was excited. As a member of the underrepresented South Asian population, I was excited to see people like me in mainstream media. Indian Matchmaking follows Sima Taparia, a matchmaker from Mumbai, who gives her clients and their families an opportunity to find the prospective spouse of their dreams. For many, this spouse is tall and fair. Sima, who is referred to as “Sima Auntie” throughout the series, collects criteria from her clients to match them to another client, through what she calls a “biodata”, which is a glorified resume accompanied with a picture.
Indian society traditionally has been based on a caste system, with the Brahmins, who are seen as descendants of Brahma, a Hindu God at the top, with the Shudras and “untouchables” at the bottom. The Indian caste system is largely based upon skin colour, with fair individuals at the top, with darker individuals at the bottom. This backwards view on society is ingrained into the psyche of Indian families and is widely seen in modern Indian society. Though the caste system has been dismantled, its impacts and doctrine have been implemented into Indian, and further, South Asian society. You must bring honour to your family by being fair, marrying young, and marrying someone in your caste. The caste system, exacerbated by the British Raj as well as by the colourist ideals of India and South Asia as a whole, leaves Indian Matchmaking an accurate, but grim tale regarding South Asian society. The criteria that most matchmakees had in their mind, as stated above, included a person who was tall and fair. You, like many others in the South Asian community, may see these criteria as a preference, while in actuality, it is inherently colourist and further perpetuates the caste system.
Firstly, you have Aparna, a lawyer based out of Huston, looking for a “life partner” who is not just Indian-American, but also from North Indian descent. North Indians are seen as the “pinnacle of beauty” in India, due to their fair skin and European features. This favouritism for Indians with fair skin is seen throughout the criteria of many, including Pradhyuman, a jewelry designer from India. He states that he wants a girl who is “mentally and physically attractive”, but has turned down over 100 proposals and biodatas. Pradhyuman eventually settles for a tall, fair-skinned model, further showcasing to South Asian youth worldwide that to be desirable, you must be fair. Colourism is not just subject to women, but also men. We see Richa, who is introduced in the last episode, stating that she wants a life partner who is “not too dark… fair-skinned”, further allowing for colourism to become “mainstream”. This colourism is not the lone reason why the show Indian Matchmaking is problematic, the show also has sexist overtones.
The rampant sexism shown in this series is horrifying. Women are seen as a commodity to be bought and sold, in these transactional arranged marriages. This sexism is seen when Akshay, an eligible bachelor, states that his ideal partner would be like his mother - cooking and cleaning for him as if he is unable to take care of himself. His mother, Preeti stated that a prospective wife must be shorter than Akshay, as to not dominant over him, as well as she must be “flexible” and “family-oriented” which is a kind way to say that she must be ready to become a cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing machine. This misogyny and sexism show South Asian youth that women are not equal to men, while in reality, that is quite the contrary. These harmful sexist ideals are prominent in the series but slightly shadowed by Ankita Bansal, a matchmakee who is a fashion designer and states that “It’s time to be equal”. Ankita is the voice of reason for South Asian youth watching this show. Her character is both harmful and helpful, showcasing that women can be independent in South Asian society however, she shamed her match for being divorced, further playing into the intricacies of South Asian marriage culture. However, above all else, Indian Matchmaking further perpetuates the idea that women must be untouched, untouchable, fair, and above all else, willing to engage as a commodity in the transaction of marriage.
The elitist attitudes of the South Asian population are seen throughout the series. Rupam, a single mother was told by Sima that she would be difficult to match with others due to her status as a divorcee. Further, elitist attitudes along with colourism is shown with Nadia, an event planner of Guyanese-Indian descent, as Sima states that it will be hard to find a match for her due to her caste and skin colour. The ideals shown by Sima Tarpia’s clients not only are harmful towards the South Asian community by perpetuating sexism, colourism, and the caste system, but also allows individuals not in the South Asian community to generalize and stereotype South Asians, in particular, Indians as being sexist, classist, and colourist, while many South Asians, especially first-generational youth in North America, are anything but.
The colourism, sexism, and elitist attitudes shown in this series are harmful and problematic as it showcases that South Asian youth, especially women, must conform to these outdated, inane, and unattainable ideals of beauty. Further, it shows that young women and girls must conform to societal standards of femininity, as to please their husband and mother-in-law while giving up much of their independence. Though problematic, this is not at the fault of arranged marriage culture, matchmaking, or Sima, but the fault of South Asian society. We are the problem.
Though very problematic and harmful, Indian Matchmaking is helpful to some extent. The show breaks boundaries for some, as well as normalizes struggles regarding family trauma and weight. Vysar, a high school counsellor trying to find love, opened up regarding his family trauma which stems from his father’s conspiracy to commit murder. Further, Ankita stated how her weight is seen as a burden, and how that has stopped her from finding love. However, above all else, Indian Matchmaking is a glimmer of representation is a sea of white-washing.
Indian Matchmaking; real, raw, and accurate, showcases that South Asian society is problematic, colourist, elitist, and sexist. Though the show allows for the representation of South Asians in mainstream media, it perpetuates a negative image of what South Asian society stands for, especially in the eyes of those who aren’t South Asian. South Asian society is indeed colourist, sexist, and elitist, however not all South Asians are. For the colourist, sexist, and elitist ideals that are shown in this series to be eliminated, the very idea of “the other” must be eliminated. It isn’t a matter of Sima changing, but a matter of South Asian society changing to allow all, no matter their caste, colour, or gender, to succeed, thrive, and most importantly, be accepted.
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